A Question of Values

Many in my family are phobic, hoarders, fearful. They regard my travels and associations of people of all classes and races as nothing short of a disgrace and embarassement to them, and the disposing of much of my material goods as evidence of my "madness", a madness, they believe, is made worse by my association with tribes and tribal people. In a word, I am a disgrace to them. And when I attempted to downsize as I aged to smaller and more affordable digs, and to go back to school, I was opposed and ridiculed. Keep the big house (four bedrooms, two baths, 2200sq feet on over sized cedar fenced and porched lot), work two or three jobs I was told. Never ever let go of anything. The fact that the property taxes and minimal expenses alone were more than half of my earnings did not matter. In my family being a slave to your house is a way of life. It is always about image. Image versus reality. Reality was that I no longer could afford it, nor did I need or want the space, once the kids had grown up. One sister and one daughter called me "trailer trash", when I discussed snowbirding in a R.V. and travelling.
My family does not much believe in religion, though they say they do. Show up at Christmas,Easter, weddings and funerals, and that is about it. My mother did like church and made some effort to "instruct" us via Sunday school.
My Dad, from a long line of ministers, seemed to be distant from church, especially after a local"Evangelist" milked his sister and almost the entire town out of their life savings in an investment scheme. Can't say as I blame him there.
However, my involvement with ceremonies with Natives, was regarded as terribly pagan, embarrassing and inexplicable. What would people think!

And in the words of Rhett Butler in "Gone With the Wind", "Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a Damn!"
In my travels I was blessed. I met and interacted with a large number of people from every faith and every situation, including the street people. I learned from all of them. Most of the people I met were Godly good people, imbued with deep spirituality and NOT ALL OF THEM WERE CHRISTIAN.
On many reservations, third world conditions exist with little economic development.
Many native children grow up in large extended families with few personal possessions and they are taught to be patient and to respect their Elders. Often children will serve Elders first and themselves last. This cultural practice ensures the children will be considerate of Elders. Now contrast that to the average white American kid demanding a toy and pitching a fit to get his or her way.
There is a difference in how children are behaving. And the materialistic values dominating American Society is to blame.
Now it is the fourth birthday of a relative. I must be there to "celebrate" with probably about forty guests. At his third birthday the opening of the gifts took several hours with some "play breaks" as the child was getting overwhelmed by it.
There were enough toys for three children easily. Many of the toys were interactive educational toys that make noise, light ,sing dance at the touch of a button, teaching the child that he can make something happen immediately. While such toys engage and stimulate the intellect, how many do you need? Does a childhood filled with this teach a child that all the world is under his control?
The party goers last year could choose a toy from a registry at a local toy store.
Yes, that is right, he was "registered".
What ever happened to accepting what people are able to give and giving "thanks"?

UNFORTUNATELY, my family is not alone in this idea as many young middle class families would see nothing wrong with this. It is a common practice in my neighborhood.
Meanwhile I have traveled and lived among many whose children did not have many toys and who were expected to share whatever they did have. Many of these children are now grown up and leaders in the Native community. Bright intellects, and sharp thinking is there despite the lack of material things in Childhood. Resourcefulness and creativity are strong among the tribes of the world.
Yet, we have many who believe Native people must "think" like us and refuse to respect the cultural differences, insisting that the Euro centric "White" view is the only way. Well, I don't think so. I think we can all learn from each other. Less is more. Humility and respect for Elders is important. When we are too "child centered" as American society is, we create a nation of materialists, who expect instant gratification, who see themselves as the center of the universe.
The truth for me is LESS IS MORE, God is watching and closeness to God cannot be found in an overly indulgent lifestyle. Yeah, I don't agree with the family values.
I think they are like many others, loosing touch with what is really important.
You don't need the "right" neighborhood, school, toys to develop young minds. Many have never had all that junk and turned out just fine.
I guess my values are different. Oh,Well!